Sunday, December 14, 2008

Hiding my opinions

I have opinions but I hardly ever share them.
Mr. Wacky gets to hear them all because I trust that I won't lose him over a difference of opinion. Plus, he and I have worked out ways to have respectful conversations about politics and other 'heated' topics.
I don't make friends or even acquaintances easily so I'm loathe to possibly lose someone over something like an opinion. After all, everyone has them and most people firmly believe that their opinion is the 'best', the most well researched and well founded one there is.
A problem comes in when I feel that I am misrepresenting myself. Lies of omission. I don't state that I agree with the discussion at hand but I don't state that I disagree either. Experience has taught me that many people interpret silence as tacit agreement rather than as 'if I can't say anything nice, I won't say anything at all.'
I don't intend that to mean I want to be rude to others about their opinions. Rather, I'm afraid that I might offend. I know full well that my opinions aren't usually mainstream and are sometimes quite harsh.
While I think I have good reasons to hold the beliefs and opinions that I do, I don't want to be obnoxious about them. So, I'll listen to another point of view and consider it carefully. If I wasn't willing to do that, I'd still have the same opinions I did at 18. If asked about my reasons, I'll do my best to state them. However, I don't tend to volunteer the information.
I think I come across as someone who doesn't ever think about things. I do, far too much even. I just don't want to lose friends or potential friends over my thoughts. That's one reason almost no one knows about this blog. I thought that by not telling anyone about it I'd feel safe to write in it. I guess my plan needs more work. Especially since I'd like some people in my life other than Mr. Wacky I can talk to about concepts and ideas.
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